Go to the gym now, because I have a gun and a shovel, and I doubt you’ll be missed much if you don’t lose the weight.

Stop being fat. Right now. Or else.

My positive mood has gone to shit. Prepare for an onslaught of threats.

Stop fucking up, you fuck up.

If you’re going to end up giving up anyway, why did you start in the first place? Don’t waste the time of the people who support you. See it through till the end.

I’ve been in such a positive mood lately that I can’t think of any threats or insults. Feel free to submit some!

Your life is always in your hands - unless someone kills you first. Then I guess it was in their hands.